Fingertips
by IDontReallyWriteAnymore
Summary: Kagome volunteers at a special needs school and is paired with an autistic boy named Inu Yasha. He has the most lovely eyes and most beautiful face she’s ever seen, but his eyes are empty and he doesnt smile. [OOC][AU]
1. An Introduction

All right, this is extremely important if you are easily offended.

I. DO. NOT. HATE. AUTISTIC. PEOPLE.

I don't have a problem with them, I don't judge them, I don't think they are subhuman, I don't make fun of them, and I certainly do not intend to insult any by writing this story.

I am sorry, Ms Everest, that you were insulted, and I guess I can understand why, but I did not write this story to insult you or any autistic people. I don't think that autistic people are freaks of nature that need to be locked away in homes, because a lot of the cases are more on the minor side and they can function perfectly fine, despite the ailment. And just because I say in my story that Inu Yasha is different and that he has problems, that is because HE does. You will learn later about him, but autism isn't the only negative thing that he has lived with.

Also, Lady Everest, every case of autism is different, just as every person is different. Inu Yasha may not have the kind of autism you do, but he does have it. And just because he fit's the stereotype of autism, that is not any reason to be pissed off. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and even if your autism is comparatively less intense then Inu Yasha's is, that does not make his bad, and does not make me bad for making him that way. It's great that you get along great with people and are emotional and like boys and whatnot, but Inu Yasha is not as lucky as you, and he can not understand emotion on the level you do. And if that makes you angry then I am sorry. I don't mean for this to poison the image of people with autism. In fact one girl said she read it to her autistic cousin and it made him really happy, so I guess I helped at least one person.

However, if you look through the first chapter again, did it say any where that ALL autistic people are as troubled and cold as Inu Yasha? No. Did it say anywhere that they are subhuman freaks and a menace to society? No. It really did not say any bad things about them. It did say, 'He has autism, which is a bad thing' but that is because Inu Yasha would have really done better without it. And I mean, if you look at any autistic persons life, a lot of them go through horrible things. They are not like everyone else, and since a lot of kids are terrible assholes, they get put through bullying and teasing and a lot of other horrible social torture.

I do not think that mental illness should be blamed on the person with the disease. They were born like that, and that is OK, because they can not help what they do.

Just to show you that I know what I am talking about, my cousin and uncle have Asperger's, and my grandmother is a schizophrenic. A freaking schizophrenic, and my mom had to go through hell growing up because of it. But she still loves her mom though. And I like my cousin, and my uncle got divorced from my blood related aunt a while ago while I was younger, so I do not see him any more. Even though they have those problems I do not dislike them for it nor do I treat them like they are 'special'. Because even though they are different, they are human, and they deserve to be treated with as much dignity and respect as any other person.

So if youre insulted, do not be, because I do not want to hurt you. And I recommend that you read through to the end of this because the ending clears up a lot of thing about Inu Yasha's disease.

Love to all you guys,

Inu Kun-


	2. Chapter One

**_Fingertips  
_**  
_Chapter One_

By: Lil Inu Yahsa

Everything started a year and a half ago, when I met Inu Yasha. I remember everything from that day. I remember the bus I rode on to meet him, I remember the way the paint smelled because they had been repainting an old building on that day and I smelled it while I was coming outside to go on the bus. But most of all, I remember seeing Inu Yasha's face. I remember the curiousity, and the small bit of admiration his face made me feel. But most of all, more than anything, I remember looking at him and feeling one prevailing thing:

Fear

My name is Kagome Higurashi. I live with my brother, Souta, my mom, and my grandpa. My dad doesn't live with us any more because he died. he died when Souta was young, so he doesn't remember him, but I do. And sometimes I feel sad about it, but it's okay, because everyone feels sad sometimes.

My mom is a heavensent though, and everything my dad has not been able to give me, she has. And even though my brother is annoying sometimes, I love him too. My grandpa is very old and strict, and sometimes he thinks that I am the spokeswoman for the Choco Loco commercials because he has a disease in his brain that makes him think that, but my mom does not want to put him in a home for people like him.

I live on an old shrine because my grandfather, when he was not crazy, believed in that sort of thing and wanted to teach it to other people. And by teach it to other people, I mean that he wanted to show them immitations of artifacts and charge them to look at them, and make them want buy things from the gift shop.

I go to a school called Sen-Zi-Sai High' I really do not like the name of my high school because it rhymes and that makes it sound planned and it sounds more fitting for something like a preschool or elementary school, because when kids are little they think that things like that are cool. At my school, we have a class called Leadership'. I do not like this class because it is pointless, and I do not learn anything and the teacher is old and when he leans against a desk, his fat thighs make creases in his pants. But now, I am thankful for having that class, because I met Inu Yasha because of it.

Who is Inu Yasha? Oh be patient will you.

I remember when our teacher told us the special project' we would be embarking on'. At first I thought it would just be going around the school and asking for donations to give to people with cancer and the such, but no, this was much more personal. We would be going to the Special Needs' school a few minutes away and council the kids there. Everyone would be paired up with a special needs' child.

Guess who I got. Yeah, so _now_ it's starting to come together right?

I got Inu Yasha.

Inu Yasha was sitting at a desk coloring when I met him. I remember his picture exactly because it was a very strange looking bus that was drawn in perfect perspective. I looked at it from over his shoulder and he didn't say anything when I stood there. I thought he did not realize I was there and I tapped his shoulder. I really only tapped it lightly. But this was too much apperently, because he screamed and leapt out of his chair and ran across the classroom. It took him fifteen minutes for the teachers to coax him out of the corner.

Later, the idiots at that school explained to me that Inu Yasha was a special needs' student and as such he had special needs'. I wanted hit the lady explaining this to me for not telling me earlier that Inu Yasha had what they call behavioral problems'. Among these, he could not be touched. He _hated_ being touched. He also hated the colors green and yellow and did not smile. He has a list of behavioral probloms a mile long and from time to time I just want to slap that boy so hard, but I know he can't help t because he is different from me, and that's OK.

The reason i waited so long to write this was because I really didn't like INu Yasha at all when I first met him. I actually kind of hated him for being so mean and indifferent towards me. I would smile and tell jokes to make him laugh, and I would bring him things, like Milky Way bars, which he liked, but he would not change, and that made me resent him.

I learned later on that another one of Inu Yasha's behavioral problems was that he did not smile. No one will ever understand how _angry_ this made me. I don't even know why it pissed me off so much, but for some reason, i felt like he didn't give a shit at all about anything. And that also made me sad.

But I was wrong. He likes dogs, and computer games, and he likes to look at the stars, and that was something that I thought was kind of cute.

Inu Yasha has jet black hair, which is like mine, but mine is more brown and his is more black. And he has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. They are a bluish color but the are really more violet than they are blue. His fingernails are really long because he wont let anyone get near enough to him to let them cut them, so they usually just end up coming off because they get too long and this bother me, because his nails are always different lengths. 

I found out later that Inu Yasha loves the color red. He once told me so when I asked him. I told him my favorite color was purple and then he didn't say anything because he didn't have anything to say.

This is a defect I find sometimes very aggravating. On the second meeting (Because he wouldn't talk to me on the first day because he though I was going to hurt him.) our conversation went like this.

We were both sitting down coloring because he has Creativity on his last period on wednessdays. And I asked him, So, what's your name?

And then he said nothing, so I asked him again, What's your name?

And reluctantly he answered me, Inu yasha. Then I nodded and grabbed a green marker to color in my tree.

So ... I started, trying to find a way to make conversation. how do you like school?  
And then he didn't answer me. And I asked him again. Then he made a snarling sound that resembled a growling dog and I raised an eyebrow. How come you wont talk to me?

And he did not look up when he spoke. Because you are a stranger, and you are not a friend, and you are not family. And I do not want to talk to you. And then he said nothing the rest of the time. I was so angry at this that I spent the next week thinking of something to do for him that would make him like me and I decided to bring him a candy. 

I decided on bringing him sour strips, because they are my favorite, so I brought half a pound of them from The Sweet Factory and it cost me three dollars and eighty six cents, and when I handed the bag to him, I told him it was because I wanted to be his friend, and I wanted him to trust me and talk to me (I did not tell him that my leadership grade was riding on my being nice to him.) he looked at the bag and then made a groaning sound and said he wouldn't eat them

So I asked, 

And you know what he told me? I hate green things.

I was so angry at him then, it took everything in me not to pat his back and send him back to the back of the class screaming like the insane retarded boy I thought he was. Next time, I brought him strawberry strips and he ate them.

Little did I know that the description insane retarded boy' could not be farther from the truth. As it turns out, Inu Yasha is a genius. A pure mathmatical genius. He has a condition called autism that is bad that makes him the way he is, however, he also has another thing called Savant Syndrome'. Savant Syndrome is where someone has one amazing skill despite the fact that they are mentally challenged. (In this case, he has Autism.)

I found a good article written by Sural Shah online that kind of reminds me of Inu Yasha:  
_  
A genius. A prodigy. One might label this child as such after witnessing this type of performance, were it not for the little nuances of the situation: the rocking, the cold, unemotional expression on the boy's face, and his lack of response to the voices around him. Instead, this boy is diagnosed with Savant Syndrome, a disorder in which individuals with neurological developmental delays in socialization and communication possess "astonishing islands of brilliance that stand in stark, markedly incongruous contrast to the over-all handicap"_

Inu Yasha is brilliant, on one hand, because he can answer almost any question on maths that I ask him in his head. In the time it would take any person to answer three plus four, he would be doing advanced calculus. 

However, there is a terrible side to him that worries me. He is detatched. I will admit it here and now, even after all I have been through with him, I can not deny that it is true. He is the coldest, most insensitive, most detatched, and unemotional boy I have ever met in my entire life. But this is not his fault. He was born that way and I know that. And sometimes, when I wish he would show me a smile for once in a while (I have never seen him smile. Not once in one and a half years.) I remember he can not help it and that that is just him being him and I feel better.

**_Author's Notes_**

This is not a one shot!

I repeat, NOT A ONE SHOT! I do plan on making another chapter. This will not be a normal story because it is more of a reflection of Kagome's time with an autistic savant Inu Yasha.

This was inspired by a wonderful book called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time' It is written by Mark Haddon and it is a wonderfully eccentric tale of a mentlly challenged boy who sets out to solve he mystery of who killed a neighborhood dog when he ends up finding out much more than her bargained for. Even though this child literally had no feelings, I found his character to be so interesting that I just had to write SOMETHING about it. The next chapter will be out sometime, but I don't know when. This story won't be long by the way.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter Two

__

**Fingertips**

**Chapter Two**

By: Lil' Inu Yahsa

After around the fourth visit to Inu Yasha I made, I went online and researched autism because I wanted to know more and I felt bad for him and wanted to help. I found a wonderfully informative site and it helped me find out a bunch of things about Inu Yasha's condition I did not know**.  
**_  
**What is autism?** _

Autism (sometimes called "classical autism") is the most common condition in a group of developmental disorders known as the autism spectrum disorders (ASDs). Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction, problems with verbal and nonverbal communication, and unusual, repetitive, or severely limited activities and interests. Other ASDs include Asperger syndrome, Rett syndrome, childhood disintegrative disorder, and pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (usually referred to as PDD-NOS). Experts estimate that three to six children out of every 1,000 will have autism. Males are four times more likely to have autism than females.

This helped me a lot, because back then, I just thought that Inu Yasha was being a prick, but now I understand him better. Inu Yasha has unusually crisp speech for someone with autism and that is a good thing because most people with it have a lot of trouble speaking. But he has a really nice voice, even if it is somewhat monotone and it is dull and it is slurred just a tiny bit, but despite that, he is luckier than a whole lot of people who are autistic.

But I think that his problem is not that he can not speak, but that he can not relate how he feels to his words. I remember, once, Inu Yasha had the flu but he came to school anyways and he had his head on the desk and he was groaning really loudly. I asked him what was wrong and he said he felt giddy and dizzy and that it was like the room was spinning and it confused him because he knew the room could not be spinning, so it must be what was inside his head. Then he clenched his eyes together and started crying because he said he felt a lot of pain. I felt bad for him and wanted to give him a hug to make him feel better, but I didn't because then he would scream and run into the corner of the room like he did last time. Then I felt worse.

But, I suppose that he just does not understand feeling. If he feels happy, it is impossible to know. But the weird thing is, I realized that Inu Yasha does not want to be happy. He wants to be relaxed and calm and peaceful, because the calm is more comforting to him than being happy. And I wish that he could smile, but it is OK, because he can not help what he is.

Then I read some more about his disease that I thought was informative:

_There are three distinctive behaviors that characterize autism. Autistic children have difficulties with social interaction, problems with verbal and nonverbal communication, and repetitive behaviors or narrow, obsessive interests. These behaviors can range in impact from mild to disabling._

_The hallmark feature of autism is impaired social interaction. Parents are usually the first to notice symptoms of autism in their child. As early as infancy, a baby with autism may be unresponsive to people or focus intently on one item to the exclusion of others for long periods of time. A child with autism may appear to develop normally and then withdraw and become indifferent to social engagement._

_Children with autism may fail to respond to their name and often avoid eye contact with other people. They have difficulty interpreting what others are thinking or feeling because they can't understand social cues, such as tone of voice or facial expressions, and don't watch other people's faces for clues about appropriate behavior. They lack empathy._

_Many children with autism engage in repetitive movements such as rocking and twirling, or in self-abusive behavior such as biting or head-banging. They also tend to start speaking later than other children and may refer to themselves by name instead of "I" or "me." Children with autism don't know how to play interactively with other children. Some speak in a sing-song voice about a narrow range of favorite topics, with little regard for the interests of the person to whom they are speaking._

_Many children with autism have a reduced sensitivity to pain, but are abnormally sensitive to sound, touch, or other sensory stimulation. These unusual reactions may contribute to behavioral symptoms such as a resistance to being cuddled or hugged._

This is very true of him. Whenever I talk to him, he hardly ever looks me in the eye. Sometimes when I call his name and he is doing something, he does not respond and I have to put my face in front of his which he does not like because he does not like me being so close, or I slap the table three times. Slapping the table works best because he almost always raises his head or says something.

I never see him talk to anyone in his school. He seems like the kid that would sit alone at lunch and talk to no one, and sit near no one, and just stare out a window for a long time. He does what I call 'phasing out' a lot. When he 'phases out' it's like he is a radio and the dial is turned so that you can't hear any of the people on the stations speaking and everything is unclear and not really there. It is like he is daydreaming, but he does not have daydreams. And it is like sleeping, but his eyes are open. I tried to explain this to him once and he looked at me for a long time and said, "I do not understand."

But I should not have expected him to, because something like daydreaming and metaphors are beyond his comprehension. He has dreams though, and I thought he did not.

He told me that his favorite one is where every person in the world died and he was the only one alive so he was all alone, and everything was quiet and he could see the stars at night because no one turned on their lights because they were all dead, and he could do whatever he wanted, and he could eat whatever he wanted, and he could just sit and play video games all day, or stare out a window for days on end if he liked. He told me this a month ago and it made me sad, because if everyone in the world was dead, then I would be dead too, and that dream made him happy.

So I asked him, "Would it make you happy if I were dead Inu Yasha?"

And he said, "No."

And then I asked, "Would you be sad?"

He said nothing.

And I said, "Would you cry?"

And he said, "I do not know. You are not dead and I do not know what I would do if you were because you have not died yet."_  
_  
And then I felt sad because if I died, I don't think he would notice. And I tried to think that it's just him being him, but that didn't help me any because then I realized that he would always be this ay and even if I spent years and years being friends with him, he would still never care if I died. And that made me sad because if he died I would cry for him because I care about Inu Yasha. 

**Author's Notes**

**(About Chapter One:** I replaced the first chapter with an introduction to try to explain to everyone that I don't think that autistic people are all retarded subhumans. C'mon people, I'm a writer lady! I'm the most tolerant person on this planet! Well, not really, but still … I am not biased against people with mental illness. My cousin and uncle have Asperger's and my grandma is schizophrenic. If I were biased, I'd be an idiot. )

I like this chapter because I did not have to write a lot of it. All the italicized parts are things that I got from websites and the such. Now I shall write the next chapter.

Oh yes, I do not own Inu Yasha, or 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time', because Rumiko and Mark Haddon own those. That goes for the first chapter as well.

**Review Responses**

**Lady Everest:** Look, I tried to be nice and explain to you that I don't have a problem with anyone who is autistic. You are testing my patience, not because you have a problem with the things I write, but because you aren't listening to me. I respect what you are saying and understand you might have a problem with the way I made Inu Yasha, and I told you that, but you are not listening to a word I say. This story is not about you, it is not about hurting/insulting you and I do not intend for it to do that to anyone.

So, if you are just going to be angry with me for writing a story about someone who is autistic, I recommend you just stop reading it, because it does not seem to me that you enjoy reading this, nor do you enjoy listening to me try to explain that I am not writing this to make autistic people seem like bad people. I do not group people together. If one black/Asian/white/mentally ill/Hispanic man kills another black/Asian/white/mentally ill/Hispanic man I am not going to say that all of the people on the race of the murderer are bad people, just as I am not going to say all autistic people are the same as Inu Yasha. If anything, you are making this into a bigger deal than it is. You can read this story if you want to, but don't tell me what and what not to write.

I never referred to autistic people as insane. If you had gotten this notion from the part of the story where it says _'I was so angry at him then, it took everything in me not to pat his back and send him back to the back of the class screaming like the insane retarded boy I thought he was.'_

**However!** If you continue reading it says this: _'Little did I know that the description 'insane retarded boy' could not be farther from the truth. As it turns out, Inu Yasha is a genius.'_

In other words, he is not retarded. And I never said he was, the character in my story did, and I am not Kagome Higurashi. I may agree with some of the things that she thinks, (after all, I did create her) but I do not use her as means to project my feelings about mental illness to other people. So if you have any further problems with Inu Yasha, though I personally don't know why you would, then you can bring them to me, but I think I have pretty much cleared up everything here.

**xxXDarkSlayerXxx:** I have a shrink but I only go to him when my dad thinks I have problems because I am not so happy at his house all the times and it bugs him. Plus he wont let me mention him to anyone because if I do he thinks that that is gossip and then he makes me write essays about how I did something wrong. And lots of people have shrinks. You're not the only one.

**Aria-wolfstar:** (laughs) OOC? A little? (laughs some more) Dude! It is completely OOC and AU! I thought that should be kind of obvious because in the manga, Inu Yasha has just been through a lot, and in my story he is autistic, and that is a condition and he was born that way.

**Irish leprechaun: **Your review was kind of touching you know? It made me really happy to know that it pleased your autistic cousin so much. And I am glad I made him smile. So let's see, hi little cuz! Yea, I am saying hi to you! Show it to him, Leprechaun! And tell him I waved!


	4. Chapter Three

**_Fingertips  
_  
Chapter Three **

_By: Lil' Inu Yahsa_

I did mention before that the overwhelming feeling I had when I met Inu Yasha was fear didn't I? Well I will explain why now.

If anyone has ever seen someone that is mentally disabilitated they will know that persons with mental conditions do not look normal. Even if they have the exact same body and they have a nose and two eyes, and two arms and legs, and they look just like normal humans look like, they are not the same. I don't even know how you can tell, but somehow it is just so plain to see that someone is not normal. Because when I saw Inu Yasha for the first time, I was both ecstatic with joy, and paralyzed with fear.

I think that is part of the reason why when I met him the first time I just stood behind him so long. I already knew he had a mental ailment, but I was worried about what that was. They did no tell us anything about the people we were paired with (unless they had violent tendencies, and that is why they told me he could not be touched after I patted his back. I also learned he carries a Swiss army knife everywhere with him in his pocket and no one can take it from him because they can not get close enough to him to take it from his pocket.) because the teacher of my leadership class said he wanted us to grow a relationship with them on our own and not treat them like there is something wrong with them, like everyone else does.

But I think this is stupid because the truth is there _is_ something wrong with them and they _are _different. Not that is bad, because everyone is different, but they can not function without help. But most of them can not understand that because that is how they know themselves and they do not know how it feels like to think like a normal human being would think. And it is not their fault, but everyone thinks it is. But that is understandable because it took me a very long time to accept Inu Yasha for what he was. Even now I have problems with him sometimes, but I am more understanding and even tempered than before because being with Inu Yasha has changed my whole world a lot.

Anyways, when I first saw him I knew he was not normal and healthy like most of the children at my school. Maybe it was the way he was hunched over or the way he was coloring and rocking his chair back and forth and making a strange groaning sound, but I do not know. I could just tell. And of course, his shrieking and freaking out and hiding in a corner because I touched him did not help my image of him. But when he settled down and I got a look at his eyes I could not help but realizing how amazingly beautiful they were. This amazing purple-blue color that painted the irises of this boy were unmatched. I could have stared at them for so long because they were so spectacular. And when he looked at me my heart would flutter with both admiration and fear because even though his eyes were so beautiful, they were empty eyes.

The emptiest.

I could not find a single smile line, or a scowl on his brow, or a crease from a frown. I think there was a line between his brows because when he is scared his eyebrows push towards each other and his eyes clamp shut. And in his eyes, I could not find a single trace of human emotion and that is frightening indeed.

I do not know if there is exact words to describe this, but people's faces are like books. When I look at someone, I can already tell so much about them. Because people usually have 'looks'. Someone can have a _frightened look_ or they can have an _angry_ or _disappointed look, _and the list goes on and on. For example, my friend Sango has a very _light look_ because, like me, she is usually happy and relaxed and she doesn't get angry easily. My friend Miroku has a very _scheming look_ because I can always tell when he is thinking up some kind of plan, whether it be a way to fix a microwave, or the perfect time to grab Sango's butt and get away without getting smacked. And my brother has the _kid look_, because most children have not lived long enough or been through enough to develop a look.

But Inu Yasha does not have a look. Or at least he does not have one I have seen. Well, if he did have a look, it would be the _empty look_ because he does not look like he has ever smiled or laughed or cried or felt an actual feeling for a day in his life. But he might fit the _frightened look_ because he does get afraid. He is afraid of loud noises and people touching him, and he is afraid of being in small spaces with other people, and I know this because a couple months ago I asked him. And when is afraid he completely loses it and screams and curls up into a fetal ball and puts his forehead on his knees and groans and whimpers like a scared puppy would if you were going to smack it.

I do feel bad for him. Many people have asked me if I do, and if I did not feel bad for him I would be just like him because he can not feel bad for people because he does not know when people are feeling sad. But Inu Yasha is sad. He is sad and scared and worn and torn in every possible way, and I feel so bad for him that it hurts because I can not help him. This took a very long time to realize because through all the time I spent with him I always thought, '_I can save him. I can help him.'_

But I can't.

I read this from a site online:  
_  
**How is autism treated?** _

There is no cure for autism. Therapies and behavioral interventions are designed to remedy specific symptoms and can bring about substantial improvement. The ideal treatment plan coordinates therapies and interventions that target the core symptoms of autism:

impaired social interaction,

problems with verbal and nonverbal communication,

and obsessive or repetitive routines and interests.

Most professionals agree that the earlier the intervention, the better.

**Educational/behavioral interventions:** Therapists use highly structured and intensive skill-oriented training sessions to help children develop social and language skills. Family counseling for the parents and siblings of children with autism often helps families cope with the particular challenges of living with an autistic child

**Medications:** Doctors often prescribe an antidepressant medication to handle symptoms of anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Anti-psychotic medications are used to treat severe behavioral problems. Seizures can be treated with one or more of the anticonvulsant drugs. Stimulant drugs, such as those used for children with attention deficit disorder (ADD), are sometimes used effectively to help decrease impulsivity and hyperactivity.

**Other therapies:** There are a number of controversial therapies or interventions available for autistic children, but few, if any, are supported by scientific studies. Parents should use caution before adopting any of these treatments.

Even though there were three things that might be able to help, I was always stuck on the first sentence,

There is no cure for autism.

There is no cure for autism.

There is no cure for autism.

And every time I get this feeling that I can change him or help him, those words ring clear in my brain.

There is no cure for autism.

And those words make my chest hurt. I would like to say that it is because it breaks my heart to see him like that, but Inu Yasha explained it better. He said that when your body is under stress, your heart beats faster and when it is beating so hard for so long it makes it painful for it and that is why my chest hurt. I did not tell him he was breaking my heart though because he would not understand. I know because once, a girl had hit him because they were fighting over a marker and she got frustrated, and he pulled her hair and ran to a corner and screamed and cried. So I tried to calm him down.

I do not know how it is you can calm someone like him down. I realized how dependent people were upon touching each other for comfort because I really wanted to hug him. This is because that is what I would have wanted if I were crying, but I knew that would make him scream. So I asked,

"I want you to feel better Inu Yasha. How can I help you?" I had grown used to explaining my exact emotions by now. If I had started to cry he would not understand and would grow confused.

He told me to move away from him by two feet.

I stared at him for a while and waited for him to say anything else. He did not. This happened at least half a year ago, and even then, I felt an overwhelming amount of grief for this boy. When you looked at him, you could feel this awful fear and this terrible penetrating feeling of guilt. I think now that is because you know that you are part of the race that has let him down. I would never want to hurt Inu Yasha though. I would however gladly punch anyone who would dare say anything bad about him.

I scooted two feet away and then murmured under my breath, "It breaks my heart to see you like this." I shook my head and looked at the floor because it was getting painful to see him so hurt.

And then he looked at me and his eyes were wide and dripping with tears. "I do not understand." he said.

I looked up at him and he stared at the ground because he hates looking into people's eyes, because that is almost like being near them, and being near them makes him afraid they will touch him and he does not like that. "What?" I asked him.

And he said, "If your heart broke, you would die."

And then my heart felt like it really did break because he said this with no empathy, or sorrow or remorse at all. And then I started thinking to what he said about how his favorite dream was the one were everyone died and I frowned and felt my eyes get hot.

"It is a metaphor." I said. He does not like metaphors, but I use them anyways, because I forget that they are metaphors because I am so used to saying them. Usually he asks me what I mean, but sometimes, and most times, he will say nothing. "It means my chest is hurting me."

I try sometimes to say things in a way that might confuse him because then he will ask me what I mean, and it will be like having a conversation with him. And I like talking to him because he is smart and interesting and a lot of times his thoughts are incredible because he hits issues right on the head. And that is a metaphor and I did not tell him those words exactly. In this case though, I wanted him to ask me, 'Why does it hurt?' but he did not say anything.

After six or seven visits, I came into the arts room and I was dripping with rain because it was raining very hard outside and I said, "It's raining cats and dogs out there!"

And he said nothing because he did not understand. He almost never starts any conversations because he is 'introverted'. And that is the word the psychologists use with children who like being alone. Another way to say this would be _'anti social'. _Other words that I have heard the counselors use are 'emotionally distant' and 'detached' and 'un-empathetic' and 'socially distorted'.

The psychologist for Inu Yasha (her name is Ms Khan, but Inu Yasha calls her Aliah because that is her first name) says that it puts a negative impact when they say 'anti social' or the other words because she says she wants the children to think that they are normal and fine the way they are. I would understand if it were me or pretty much anyone else, because if someone were to tell me that I was distorted or detached I would start crying, but I don't think that it would damage Inu Yasha, because most nearly nothing effects Inu Yasha.

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**Author's Notes**

**Number of Chapters in Story?** Six. Six chapters. Five by Kagome, and one in Inu Yasha's POV. (A special treat. You guys get to see life HIS way. It might not be so accurate, but whatever.) And I think there will be an epilogue.

**And for all you that said chapter one and two are identical:** Please re check chapter one. It is not the same as the first actual story chapter.

Woot. Third chapter! Happy happy joy joy. This story is sadly halfway done

Also, in addition to my family's history of mental illness, my uncle is dying of Alzheimer's. (It's real sad. My mom said he was a real great guy.)

Well, I should have the next chapter out in a week or so. (I'll be updating weekly.)

**_(The message is for) Tangled-Wires-of-Doom (But read it any ways, because it provides insight to the story.)-_** Yay! You said exactly what I was aiming for this story to do! I did not want this to be one of those stories, like Suaru said, where he is in a mental institution, but he is not really crazy, because that just downright pisses me off. (Note to Self: Remember to erase 'Broken Thunder') And I am glad you like the first person POV. I have never written a story in first person and I am glad you like how I do it. (The best first person POV story I have read is 'Imaginary'.)

In regards to Sleepwalking Chickens comment, I do actually try to make the sentences a little runny and confusing because I think it really suits this story. I want it to seem kind of different and imperfect because that is how the characters are. Kagome's no saint, and Inu Yasha is definitely a little … 'off'.

Well, Inu Yasha isn't in a mental institution (Just to clear up anything because mentioned mental institutions in the last paragraph. And no, he is not crazy.) He goes to a school that is for children with learning or emotional difficulties. And yes, Kagome is NOT a saint. She does have problems with him, because I mean, he can be really difficult, as you'll learn. You see her saying, 'that's just how he is, and that's okay, because he can't help it' a whole lot. Think of it as her way of accepting him. It does bother her that he has autism though

._**(Just think about the situation:** Pretty and hormonal teenage high school girl plus mysterious, beautiful, but emotionally absent stranger equals? Can you say, sexual tension? And Inu Yasha hates being touched. Poor Kagome.)_

_**Angel-tears-16-**_ Yes, I am female, and thank you for the compliment! I can get why she might be insulted, but autism is a disease. It's not the core of that person's soul or anything

**_Hanyou witch 911-_** The Curious incident (etc) is an AMAZING BOOK! Its so great so continue reading! Hope you like it and thanks for the reviews! Accurate? Why thank you!

**_Irish Leprechaun-_ **Aw! (leaps out of shiny box and gives Juu-Juu a big hug) Thanks for the reviews Irish! Your little cuz sounds so kewl! Give 'im a hug for me!

**_Chibi-Neko192-_** Feelings for Inu Yasha? Hmmm …. You'll just have to wait and see wont you:P


	5. Chapter Four

**Fingertips**

**Chapter Four**

By: Lil' Inu-Yahsa

I still doubt Inu Yasha's ability to feel sometimes, even now. For example, here is a conversation I had with him.

He asked me how I was, because that is being polite and the school people teach him etiquette, and even if he only does it because he is supposed to it still makes me happy because I think that he does care a little. But I should know better than to assume.

I said, "Okay." This is because I was having an OK day but it was not great. When he said nothing I continued. "But my mom is annoying me."

And then after a while he asked, "Why?" Its times like this that I think I am making a break through in his autism but then those words ring in my ears,_There is no cure for autism._

And I said, "Because she wants me to do better in school but I can not because she put me in difficult classes and they are too advanced for me." and then he said nothing so I added, "This makes me frustrated because I want to get good grades, but I can't." And he nodded. He still showed no signs of speaking so I asked him a question because he will almost always talk when I ask him something. "How are your grades?"

"I have five A's. They are in Maths, science, American history, Foreign language, and spelling. And I have two B's. They are in English because I can not write good essays and in arts because the teacher says I have troubles with being creative. But I have the best grade of everyone in maths." I like the way Inu Yasha talks because he has a very light British accent because that is where he grew up. (I found this out in this conversation.)

"Wow. Your parents must be so proud of you." I said, because for someone with his condition, he is incredibly intelligent.

And he said, "They are not."

And I was confused by this. So I asked, "Why not?"

And he said, in a very detached way, "Because four years, and six months ago they were in a fire and they burned to death because they were in the house and the fire men said that the smoke made them unconscious. But I did not die because I was outside and across the street looking at the sky. And so I moved away from where I lived, which was Cambridge, and I live with a foster family now."

Then I dropped my marker on the floor and stared at him with huge eyes because I was shocked he could go into horrific detail like that without crying. I picked up my marker a couple minutes later after shaking my head.

"I'm sorry." I said because I felt terrible for Inu Yasha. I thought that losing just one of my parents was bad, but he lost both in a horrible accident and he probably watched his house burn to the ground knowing his parents were in there.

And he said, "But you did not do anything wrong."

I continued to color my picture of a cat.

I think that Inu Yasha is getting better sometimes. Sometimes, he shows signs of genuinely caring about other people. Once, I tripped when we were walking outside and he squatted down all the way to the ground to ask me if I was all right.

This may seem insignificant, but on the contrary, it is more than most people would do. At school, I fall a lot because people at my school are absent minded and leave their things all over the floors. I tripped over a text book and fell really hard on the concrete and the girl who owned the book just looked at me and laughed. Then she said, 'Sorry.' Then she walked away to get something from a vending machine and did not even bother to pick up the text book. Sometimes I think even though he does not show it, and his facial expressions are very, shall we say limited?- that Inu Yasha actually holds more concern for other people than most human beings on this planet, which is a pretty pathetic statistic, because many counselors at the school (I talk to a lot of them.) regard him as quite distant and cold.

It may seem to come across that Inu Yasha is a very sick kind of figure, and that he is emotionless and it is partially my fault, because even though I think he is much deeper than that, he does come across that way. With just a glance, anyone can figure that he is _just_ this blank empty kid.

But they are wrong.

I do have my doubts about him, I know, but Inu Yasha is like a geode. On the outside, they seem coarse and rough and, but on the inside, they are incredibly beautiful. Inu Yasha's soul is like that. However, it takes a giant freaking hammer to open up one of those rocks. And then you have to polish and fix it up a little bit, but they are very lovely. Inu Yasha reminds me of that because he comes across so blandly and so very stoic that a lot of people really just think he is unreachable, and a human being incapable of feeling. But he is not. He has a beauty about him. He really does. And even though everyone else can't see it, I can. And I love that about him.

Even though he really does not smile for all I know, I can tell when he is happy. He lights up like a candle when he is excited and you can tell this from his face and eyes. His eyes get wide and reflective and he gets a curious excited look. But it is a very small and almost unnoticeable look. But I notice it.

Inu Yasha is exceedingly different than the rest of the population. When he was younger, he went to a regular school, because he was not diagnosed with autism and Savants Syndrome until he came to America because they ran a lot of tests on him and watched him for a while.

This is how they diagnosed him.

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How is autism diagnosed?

Autism varies widely in its severity and symptoms and may go unrecognized, especially in mildly affected children or when it is masked by more debilitating handicaps. Doctors rely on a core group of behaviors to alert them to the possibility of a diagnosis of autism. These behaviors are:

Impaired ability to make friends with peers

Impaired ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others

Absence or impairment of imaginative and social play

Stereotyped, repetitive, or unusual use of language

Restricted patterns of interest that are abnormal in intensity or focus

Preoccupation with certain objects or subjects

Inflexible adherence to specific routines or rituals

Doctors will often use a questionnaire or other screening instrument to gather information about a child's development and behavior. Some screening instruments rely solely on parent observations; others rely on a combination of parent and doctor observations. If screening instruments indicate the possibility of autism, doctors will ask for a more comprehensive evaluation.

Autism is a complex disorder. A comprehensive evaluation requires a multidisciplinary team including a psychologist, neurologist, psychiatrist, speech therapist, and other professionals who diagnose children with ASD's. The team members will conduct a thorough neurological assessment and in-depth cognitive and language testing. Because hearing problems can cause behaviors that could be mistaken for autism, children with delayed speech development should also have their hearing tested. After a thorough evaluation, the team usually meets with parents to explain the results of the evaluation and present the diagnosis.

Children with some symptoms of autism, but not enough to be diagnosed with classical autism, are often diagnosed with PDD-NOS. Children with autistic behaviors but well-developed language skills are often diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Children who develop normally and then suddenly deteriorate between the ages of 3 to 10 years and show marked autistic behaviors may be diagnosed with childhood disintegrative disorder. Girls with autistic symptoms may be suffering from Rett syndrome, a sex-linked genetic disorder characterized by social withdrawal, regressed language skills, and hand wringing.

A lot of autistic people have a hard time growing up if they are undiagnosed. Because they are different, the children on school will target them more often for bullying than others. On the computer I read about a man who wasn't diagnosed until he was thirty. He had a horrible time as a child because his parents did not understand what was wrong with him, so they mistreated and abused him. In school he was picked on by others and when he went to a treatment facility the nurses and staff were abusive to him as well. It scared me to think that could have happened to Inu Yasha as well.

But Inu Yasha was lucky enough to be diagnosed before all those things happened to him. He is doing very well in the school he is at, because the people there treat him nicely and understand that he has special needs. I do not know how Inu Yasha was before, but I think that from the time I met him, he is doing a lot better.

I would like to tell you about Inu Yasha's childhood, but that is for him to do.

**__**

Author's Notes

Finished with Four! Yay! I would like to apply a little note here.

This story is in Kagome's POV. You all understand what that means right? I do share some of the views she does, but not all of them! I say things because that is what SHE is thinking! Not me! Kay? So if something in here offends you then go scream at my imaginary narrator, because this is not my mind I am writing about. It is hers.

No more angry reviews, as of yet, from Miss Everest.

Next chapter is in Inu Yasha's point of view! Excited? I am!


	6. Chapter Five

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Fingertips

Chapter Five

By: Lil' Inu-Yahsa

Hello. My name is Inu Yasha. I am not giving my last name, because you are not supposed to give that away or else bad people could find you and hurt you. (They taught us this in school.)

I am fifteen years, seven months, and eighteen days old. I love doing math, and I like the color red. Pink is okay too, but that is because it is a shade of pink. I know because in Creativity, we had to do color wheels. We added little bits of white and black paints to all the colors of the rainbow. I did not like using the yellow paint because I don' like the color yellow, but the teacher said I had to. And when I added the white paint to the red, it turned pink.

Kagome comes to visit me at my school on Wednesdays. She stays for approximately two hours. I say approximately because she sometimes stays later because she is my friend and likes to chatter with me. She comes at around two o'clock and stays till four. She is nice, and she smells like strawberries, which I like because they are red and taste good. I like them a lot when they are dipped in sugar. She also smiles a lot.

When I meet with Aliah (I meet her two times a week, on Thursdays and Tuesdays. I like it this way because those days both start with 'T'.) she tells me what different faces mean if I ask. When someone smiles, it means that they are happy, so I think Kagome is happy a lot because she smiles at me a lot.

I saw her crying once though. It was two months and three days ago. She came in and sat next to me. She never does this because I ask her not to. I do not like being near people. She was sniffing, and her eyes were wet, and her face was red. I liked that it was red. I know that crying means someone is sad so I asked her, "Are you okay?"

She looked at me and she smiled because she likes when I ask her things. And she said, "Heh, I … I'm fine." Then she sniffed twice. "It's just I .. I feel sad now because … Oh Inu yasha, you … you wouldn't understand … I was going out with a boy and ... He …" Then she exhaled heavily through her nose. "… I'll be fine … I just don't feel well now …" She looked at the ground and a tear slid down her face. "Inu Yasha?" she asked.

I looked at her and then looked back at the ground because I dislike looking people in the eyes.

"Just this once .. Can I … can you hold my hand? Please? I promise I won't hold it hard … You won't even feel it … please … just this once? Just for a second." She looked at me and her eyebrows pushed together and upwards. And she was frowning, and I also knew this meant she was sad.

And I said, "I don't like people holding my hands." She sobbed twice and went to the bathroom.

She can be confusing sometimes, and I don't like this because when I am confused, I feel like I have to figure it out and I get headaches over it because I can not understand some things. I asked Aliah why Kagome was so complicated and she laughed and told me that Kagome was a girl and that they are different and can be weird sometimes. Then she laughed again and added, "Most of the times, really."

I said, "But Aliah, you're a girl."

And she nodded and said, "I sure am."

Well, she told me she was writing a story and I was in it, so she asked me to write a chapter in it, because she wanted the people who read it to be able to know how I think. But she does a really good job at writing so I think she does not need me to do this because I can not write as well. She says she wants to write books when she gets older. And she told me that she would write one especially for me and that made me feel happy.

My school is free for me. This is because the government pays for it for me because since my parents died, no one could take care of me. Kagome asked me to tell about what happened the night the fire burned my house down, so I will do that now.

I do not really know how to do this though, because I was not in the house when this happened. I was outside. I like being outside because the world is a big place and I like they way it smells. That night, it smelled like fresh grass because it had rained and that made it smell wet too. I was looking at the sky because I like to use my '_Astrologer's Guide' _to find constellations in the sky. I found three of them because a lot of them were hard to see because of light pollution.

My mom had gotten home at three forty eight and she came into my room and knocked. I opened the door and said, "Hello."

She said, "Hi Inu Yasha." The she spread her fingers out in a fan shape and held her hand to me. Then I did the same and our fingertips touched. I hate when people touch me. And we do this sometimes because my mother wants to hug me sometimes and I do not like that. So we touch fingers instead, and that means that she loves me and cares about me.

Then she said, "I am going for a nap okay Kiddo?"

And I closed the door so the sounds from my computer game did not disturb her.

I ended up falling asleep where I was and when I woke up I could smell smoke. I walked back home and felt jittery. My heart was beating fast and my head felt like it was running in circles in my head. When I got to my house, my house wasn't there. Instead, there were police men, fire fighters, fire trucks, and where my house used to be, there was a giant fireplace. Or at least it looked like one. Except the fire wasn't in a fireplace, and there was not wood in it, there was my house. I watched for a while, but I do not know how long because I did not check my watch because I could not move. I did not breath until I realized I had stopped and my eyes and mouth both looked like this:

****

O

A policeman came behind me and asked me to leave and I said, "No."

He said, "What are you doing here?"

And I said, "This is my home."

And he said, "Oh shit …"

Then he walked away.

So I went up to another policeman and asked him, "Where's my mum and my dad?"

And he said, "How the hell should I know?"

So I asked him, "Are they inside the house or out of it?"

And his eyes got wide like mine had been and he said, "Fuck! You live here?"

And I said, "Yes."

And he said, "Oh God … Look, kid, we're working on it okay? Don't worry, we can save them." He ushered me away from the house and I sat across the street and watched my house break. (This sounds like a metaphor but that's really what happened. It collapsed and fell apart.) Then my memory kind of went blank and I can not really remember much. I remember a window on flames falling from the house and the grass below it caught fire.

The policeman lied. They did not save my mother. They did not save my father.

Then I went and I lived in a home for a while. It had a lot of other kids and I hated it because it smelled like dirty people and the air was hot and thick. Then I went to live with these people in America called 'Thompson'. They are fine I suppose. I do not talk to them a lot because Mr Thompson and Mrs. Thompson fight a lot and they yell really loudly at each other sometimes. And I hate when people make loud noises because it gives me headaches, which is a reason I like my school, because no one there screams all the time.

I also do not like the Thompson's because they have a baby and the baby cries a lot because they sometimes yell so loudly that they don't feed it for a while and it gets hungry. So I feed it. I like the baby, but it yells too loudly, so I don't like it that much. And once Mr Thompson grabbed my arm really hardly so I pushed him away and he hurt his arm.

The lady who is my social worker says she is trying to find a new place for me to live but that means that I might have to move away from where I live and then I will not be able to see Aliah and Kagome, and I won't be able to go to my school and I won't be able to take Advanced Mathematics, which is a course that I started taking this year. I like it because there is only three other people in that class and you have to be very smart to get in.

When I moved here, I went through a lot of tests and the doctors found out I had autism which is why I hate being touched, and why I can't understand why people are angry or sad at me. But I also have Savants syndrome and that is why I am really good at math.

There are two kinds of Savants syndrome. One is where if someone has mental retardation, they have some skill that they can do like normal people can. These people are nicknamed 'Idiot Savants.' Then there are the 'genius Savants' which are people like me. This is when someone has a skill that is superior to some who does not have autism or another form of a mental handicap. And this makes me happy, because this makes me better at math than all the people who called me stupid when I was a little boy.

I looked online and there are lots of ways someone can be a Savant. Some people are good at art or music or maths or memory or have extraordinary senses. I have a really good memory. This is done simply, because remembering things is easy. I just have to record them properly in my head. And then my mind works like a video tape and I can just re wind to what I want to remember. It's easy.

Kagome said she wanted to write books when she got older and she asked me what I wanted to do. But I do not know at the time. Now I know I either want to be a scientist or an astronaut. Being an astronaut sounds like the perfect job. Because you would have to be able to be far away from home for a very long time, and I don't have a home because it burned in a fire. You would have to be able to concentrate really hard and work, and I can concentrate hard if I want to.

I could also be a mathematician. I would do anything that involved math. This is because math is simple and easy. There is always one correct answer and all you have to do is know how to get the answer and its no problem. Math is not like people are.

People are confusing and strange, and one face can mean twenty different things depending on a million little unimportant factors you are supposed to know. If someone frowns they could be hungry, sad, in pain, depressed, frustrated, confused, upset, disappointed or constipated. But it's impossible to know because you have to figure out if they've eaten at all, if they had a good or bad day, if they know anyone that has died, if they have eaten anything that has upset their tummies, or if they are lost. But math is not like that. Two plus two will always equal four, and nine divided by three will always be three. And that is why I like it.

**__**

Author's Notes

Well, there is your insight to Inu Yasha's mind. This story is only got about two chapters left in it. Of course, that would be including a short epilogue so the actual story is only going to be about two chapters more.


	7. Chapter Six

**__**

Fingertips

Chapter Six

By: Lil' Inu-Yahsa

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A quality I really love about Inu Yasha is his adorable quirkiness. He handed me the chapter he graciously writ for my little story and asked me what chapter it would be in and I told him I did not know so he asked if I could put in chapter five, or an even numbered chapter. He hates odd numbers, (Except those divisible by five) I found out. Even in his house, if the A/C is set on an odd number he gets completely freaked out and has to change it. I laughed at this when he told me but then he looked at me in a bitter kind of way and I could tell he was offended by me laughing at him. He hates when people laugh at him.

This is because he was teased and laughed at as a child. He has a rather short tolerance for provocation so he ended up being just a little violent as a child. Once, he told me, he grabbed another boys throat and the teachers had to pull him off and he had a fit. If he absolutely has to, he will touch other people, but this was a rare exception. As it turns out, the boy had been teasing him for months, and Inu Yasha's anger just peaked and he grabbed the other boy's throat and scared the poor kid shitless. (That's what he said.) He told the boy if he ever made fun of him again, he would kill him. Though after that, a few of the stronger kids would say a thing or two to get a rise out of him. Most kids left him alone for the most part. A few months later, he kept his Swiss Army Knife with him every where he went. Needless to say, no one even sent him a bad look after that, but his possibilities of developing a friend were minimal at most.

But he liked it that way. Inu Yasha does not mind being lonely. If anything, he enjoys it. He would rather be left alone than have friends, which includes me, and that upsets me just a little.

I bring red pants to school with me every Wednesday. This is because my school uniform is a green skirt. Inu Yasha does not like green so I change clothing. Some of the girls make fun of me because of it. They'll say 'Oh, Kagome, going to see your idiot boyfriend?' But there are an assortment of words they have used in place of 'idiot'. I hate people like that.

They think that somehow having something wrong with your brain means that you are incapable of breathing on your own. But, mental retardation is true with some autism cases, so at first, I kindly explained to them that Inu Yasha is in fact, very intelligent, but just not capable other things. Like smiling for example. But the teasing would not stop. I've gotten into many fights because of him.

Some girls think it is stupid I continue to see Inu Yasha because he doesn't seem to care about me, and he won't smile or be touched. They say "I don't get it. Why are you so into that guy? He can't love." But who are they to say?-they don't know whether he can or not. Maybe he can, but he does not have words to describe his feelings. But maybe he is as cold as he seems. It's a risk I take in being involved with Inu Yasha.

Sango understands. The other girls could never understand because they were paired with kids that are more on the dull side. Erika's child poops in his pants and always smells like it, so I can understand why she does not like seeing him, but that's no reason to be mean.

But Sango knows how I feel.

She was paired with a twelve year old boy named Kohaku. When he was eleven, he was in a car accident and he lost his short term memory. So every day when he wakes up he asks where his family is, but he can't see them because he lost them in the accident too. So, when Sango comes, she has to re-introduce herself every time and tell him who she is.

She sometimes will take him on her lap and tell him, "Well, since your sister is not here now, _I_ can be your sister, for now at least." Then he will laugh and give her a hug and tell her "Okay! But only 'till I get back home." And Sango will smile because she thinks the world of Kohaku, but inside she is sad, because she knows he will never get back home, because he does not have a home any more. It was sold to another family. And he will never see his sister again, because she is dead.

Sango does not even get half as much trouble as I do from other people because a lot of the people in my school liked Kohaku and were jealous of Sango for getting him. This is because, other than the fact that he can't remember anything that happens after his accident, he is a normal boy and not bad to look at. Kohaku is adorable and sweet and hugs anything with legs. (I was lucky enough to witness him hugging an oak tree once too.)

They have a problem with Inu Yasha though. This is because Inu Yasha is difficult. He isn't sweet, and hates hugs, and although he is kind of beautiful in a strange way, it's like the pretty pieces of art at the museum. They're lovely to look at, but don't you dare touch them. Inu Yasha is lovable, but he is harder to love than Kohaku, because it's nearly impossible not to love Kohaku.

Kohaku lives in a special ward of the school where children that can not live without constant help are. He has his own room, and since he inherited his parent's money, he is allowed to get a toy once in a while, so he has a Playstation 2. Every day when he wakes up, the counselor's tell him that this is a special fun summer camp his parents sent him to overnight because he was being such a good boy. He only goes to the actual school once in a while, because he can not learn, but he likes going to Creativity classes and fun electives like that.

Once every month, Creativity will be held in the music room. Me and Inu Yasha prefer the keyboards because I can play piano and he likes listening to me play. He has been able to learn three songs from me just from watching me play them so much. He can play them perfectly, and even better than I can. He has a photographic memory, and even though he can't read music, if he hears something that I play, and watches my fingers, he can replay it fairly well. The good thing about the recitals I hold for Inu Yasha are that he never gets tired of my songs. If I like a song and play it a lot, people usually get upset with me, but not Inu Yasha. He enjoys every time just as much as the last.

A lot of people think he is unfriendly and cold and distant. And he is, or so he appears to be. But I can understand why he is that way.

When I was little, my family used to go to Canada for vacations in the winter time. My parents fought a lot back then and every night, my dad and mom would end up screaming at each other, and that got Souta crying. So I would sit in a corner and tuck my head in between my knees and pretend I was back at school with my friends. But then my parents would drag me into their fights because they would have arguments about what to do with me and how to raise me. I would feel like it was my fault and I would run out side and put on my ice skates and skate until I could not even feel my arms.

And it stung at first because it was so cold, but after a while, that freezing cold becomes a comfort. Because it hurt so much, I could not remember or think. And I could not hear my parents fighting because I was concentrating so hard on pretending that I was nice and warm beside a fire place, snuggling into my father's warm belly. He would be holding my mother's hand, and my mom would be cradling Souta, who would be sleeping peacefully.

At first my fingers were numb, then my hands. The cold crept up slowly and before you knew it, your entire body was frozen and your lips were blue. Then I would go back inside and shiver as I defrosted. So I would sit beside the fireplace and try to feel warm. I did, but I was not snuggling into my father's tummy, and he was not holding my mother's hand, and Souta was not sleeping peacefully.

It was far from perfect, but it was home.

I think that is what happened to Inu Yasha. When he was little, all those children being so cold towards him only made his disease creep and make him sicker and more and more detached. Plus the added fact that his parents had troubles with him. He was not diagnosed with autism until after they died and they could not understand what was wrong with him. They thought he was just going through a stage, but he only got worse. He never got the therapy or help that he needed as a kid and his parents didn't stop once to think that maybe there was something wrong with him. And because of that, he went through a lot of stuff he should not have had to go through. He was once telling me how a group of kids in his class had all planned against him.

One boy invited him to play football with him and he decided he could keep score or something so he went to the foot ball field. Then, all the kids suddenly jumped on top of him and he said he felt like he was going to suffocate so he thrashed about under the kids and ended up fracturing his arm from the impact and the continued struggle. The teacher thought that they were just playing around and all the boys got away unscathed, except for the few he kicked. I wanted to hug him when he was telling me, but I held myself back.

**__**

Author's Notes

The story has been extended a chapter because I realized I was missing some parts. Sorry for taking so long on updating. I guess I was kind of disappointed that not many people reviewed so I was sort of waiting to reach eighty until I update this chapter, but eh, I don't want to wait any more.

Anyways PLEASE REVIEW! I don't want to put up the next chapter till I hit 90 because Inu Kun Loooves numbers that are divisible by ten. Zero is such a clean and simple number. I like it. I especially like it when it is accompanied by a couple other zeros after a number.

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Review! (Hee!)


	8. Chapter Seven

_**Fingertips**_

_**Chapter Six**_

_By: Lil' Inu-Yahsa_

I wondered whether the negligence of acknowledging Inu Yasha's disease could hurt him so I checked online.

_**Do symptoms of autism change over time?**  
For many children, autism symptoms improve with treatment and with age. Some children with autism grow up to lead normal or near-normal lives. Children whose language skills regress early in life, usually before the age of 3, appear to be at risk of developing epilepsy or seizure-like brain activity. During adolescence, some children with autism may become depressed or experience behavioral problems. Parents of these children should be ready to adjust treatment for their child as needed._

See, the thing is, is that Inu Yasha's parents did not adjust for him, they expected him to get better because they did not understand him. And that hurt him more. The Thompson's seem to be okay, though I do not think they are fit to handle Inu Yasha. In fact, Inu Yasha is really a handful. I think I am just about the only person on the planet that can stand to be in his company for longer than a few hours. He is difficult at times, but he is independent and he doesn't need constant affection and support. But I give him support anyways because I think he needs it.

I would give him affection if he let me. But he hates to be touched and that aggravates me. I am ashamed of myself, I really am, but I can't help it. I want to touch Inu Yasha. I want to hug him and hold his hand, I want to put my head on his shoulder, I would like to touch his face and see how soft his skin is. I want to kiss Inu Yasha.

But I can't. He won't like it, so I won't do it. I respect him and he trusts me, and I value that. If one touch was all it would take to break that, then I won't touch him, I won't.

I have been writing this short story over a span of two months, even though I have been seeing Inu Yasha for a year and seven months. I have been seeing him of my own will for a year and two months. Today started out normally enough. We were in the arts room and we were painting. Inu Yasha was just making shapes. He likes to make squares and triangles that have perfectly equal sides because symmetry makes him content. Then, he wanted to get a ruler so he could figure out their area and perimeter so he went to get one.

He ended up getting in a fight with a boy in the class whom he did not like and the boy jumped on top of Inu Yasha, without warning. The teacher tried to pull them off of each other and then another one restrained Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha must have remembered that time in elementary school when all the kids tackled him because I don't think he took a single breath for a while. Then he screamed for the teacher to let go of him and ran into the supply closet.

I could hear him pacing inside the closet for a while. I tried to coax him to open the door, but he was convinced I was the boy trying to sound like me so that he would come out and the boy could tackle him again.

The pacing stopped and I heard him sit down. I knew what he was doing. He was curling up into a ball and putting his head between his knees, just like I used to do when I was scared. And I heard him sniffle once.

He was crying. I sunk to the floor as fast as my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

"Inu Yasha …" I whispered softly. I knew he could hear me. He can hear everything. He stopped sniffling for a moment and I knew he was listening. "Inu Yasha," I continued "Is it okay if I come in? The teacher brought me the keys. Is it okay? I won't touch you, I promise, I won't. It's okay Inu Yasha." I cooed to him. "I won't hurt you."

I waited for five minutes outside the door and did not hear him speak. Then, there was some noise coming from inside and then I heard it: the lock clicked open. He was letting me inside.

I slowly opened the door from where I was sitting. I swung it carefully towards me and it made a creaky noise as I did so. Then, as the sliver of light from outside thickened, it ran over his features. His long shaggy midnight black hair, his ear, his lovely violet eye, his cheeks, blotchy red from crying, his red nose, his lips, his other eye. I left the door open and sat in the frame. "Are you okay?" I asked softly, after a moment of silence

He nodded and sniffed mucous into his nose.

"Is it okay if I come in more?" I asked. He looked up at me and then looked down and nodded his head.

"Don't close the door." he asked of me. "Sit there." he said. He pointed to a place approximately two and a half feet away from him. I nodded and did so.

We sat in the closet for a long time. I don't know how long. But Inu Yasha's crying stopped and eventually so did his sniffling. His face was wet. I could tell because when he turned his head a certain way, his tears would glisten dully in the light from outside the room. Then he said, "Kagome?" I looked over at him. "You don't think I'm … crazy or something do you?"

"Crazy?" I laughed, but I cut myself short because I knew he would not appreciate that. "No. Autism is not insanity. I know that." I said. "Why?" I asked. Inu Yasha was not self conscious. At all.

"Mr Thompson was talking last night. He said, 'I swear to God, Margaret, if I have to spend another day with that crazy son of a bitch I'm gonna blow my head off.' He was talking about me." he said.

"What!" I shrieked. "He said that?" Inu Yasha did not answer because he could tell that was a rhetorical question. "Oh my …" I trailed off. I was disgusted. For him to say something like that about Inu Yasha was intolerable. I fumed.

"He says if I get in another fight, he's gonna send me away." he said. "So I don't know what I'm going to do. Cause, I just got into a fight now, and soon the counselors will call him, and he is going to send me away because he hates me." he said in his usual emotionless monotone voice. Even the British ring was gone from his voice. His accent was becoming, little by little, less noticeable. He looked so scared in that moment.

"Inu Yasha …" I wanted to cry. I could feel my eyes get hot and I just wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him that he was normal, and that everything was okay, and that I loved him more than anyone. But I didn't. "Inu Yasha?" I said as a question.

He looked up at me. His violet eyes were wet and glistening, but beautiful still. His eyes were always beautiful. I admired them.

Then I smiled and held my hand up. I spread my fingers out like a fan because I love him. I love Inu Yasha. He examined my hand for a while and I think it confused him. This is what his parents did to show him they loved him, this is what I will do too. Finally, I think he got what I was trying to tell me and he slowly brought his hand up. His hand was straight and his fingers were spread like mine.

It might have been a trick of light, but I swear to God, I think I saw him smile. A small smile, but a lovely one that suited his face perfectly. He pushed his hand forward and we touched fingertips, because we loved each other.

And when they touched, we were happy.

_**Author's Notes**_

**Just a Note-** Dear readers, thanks so much for being so patient with me about this story. Its taken me at least 4-5 extra months to upload the last chapter because of grounding and computer problems. (I just got net back at my mom's house today! Yay!) Thanks so much for waiting and not screaming at me! You rock. sniff And thank you for all the faves! (23 of them!)

Is this happy ending-ishy enough for everyone? The original story was much less happy than this. But, I like this version too! It is very possible for autistic people to grow up to live nearly normal lives if they get the right help, so that justifies my making the last scene. Plus, Inu Yasha never really tells her he loves her, its just sort of implied, You don't really know what he is thinking. NO ONE really knows what he is thinking. I'm not sure if it's really love, he still needs lots of help at the end, even after all the treatment. But, I think that he trusts her and thinks highly of her.

It is sort of open ended.

So I think I am going to make an epilogue. (Its already a couple pages long.) This was a short story you guys. I know you are all crying and begging me to write more, but this is done with. I might do the epilogue though! So check back in a week or two. Bye! And thank you for reading!

Sincerely,

Inu Kun

Please feel free to leave any comments or suggestions or ANYTHING, but as long as you review, I am happy.

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

(Well, as with all stories, I consider the last review to be of most importance. So I guess you should rate it or rant about it, but I just want to know what you guys think overall.)


	9. Epilogue

_**Fingertips**_

_**Eplilogue**_

_By: Lil' Inu-Yahsa_

Hello. This is Kagome Higurashi. I know it seems repetitive to introduce myself again, but you'll see soon why I am doing this. I started writing of my exploits with Inu Yasha when I was only fifteen years old and a freshman in high school.

I am eighteen years old, and I am a senior.

Yes, it has been three years since I last added to this. Originally, this story was like a diary for me to vent my frustration, my joy, or my love because Inu Yasha responds negatively to all three. But he is so much better now.

He has been counseled a lot since he has been in the school he goes to now. Ms Aliah has helped him a whole lot and I am thankful to her and the other people who have helped Inu Yasha. Sometimes I tell her that it is her who really helped Inu Yasha and she once told me, "You know what Kagome? I had been counseling Inu Yasha for a _long _time before you came along, and never in my life have I made him light up like you have. I think he likes you."

I beamed and hugged her. She's good to Inu Yasha.

But Inu Yasha has had help from a lot of people. Even Sango comes and visits him once in a while as well too. He was put on a medication because he developed depression as a teenager and I think that that helped him too. At first, I didn't like the idea of drugs for him, but as long as they make him feel like he wants to, then it's okay. He is doing college math and says that when he gets older, he wants to be a scientist. Or a detective.

And speaking of him, Inu Yasha lives with me now. He moved into my house temporarily when he was sixteen. Mr. Thompson had been under a lot of stress and got into a fight with Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha didn't want to eat his food because it was touching and he dumped the food down the sink. The man's face (as Inu Yasha said) turned red and Mr. Thompson punched him so hard he couldn't see straight. The next thing he knew, he woke up in his room and he felt sick. He ran away and arrived at the school the next afternoon, tired and hungry. He told Ms. Aliah what happened and they sentenced Mr. Thompson to six months in jail, a fifteen hundred dollar fee, and a hundred hours of community service. He is not allowed to go within a hundred yards of Inu Yasha.

Inu Yasha had stayed with us while they were deciding where to put him. He got sick a lot and often had headaches then. After he went to court, it was decided that he would stay with me and my family and the government would send my mother enough money to feed and clothe him. He didn't get sick as often then. I think this is because he hates change. And had Mr. Thompson not aggravated and scared him so, he would still choose to live there because to him, that is better than going through the trouble of moving to a house-even if it is my house he is moving to.

My mom liked Inu Yasha. She said that if I liked him so much that he had to be a good boy. And he was. At first he was scared of all the new faces. My mom and my brother and grandfather (Grandpa scared him the most. I think he still does.) took some time to adjust to, but he got used to them very well, considering what he deals with.

He had fully adjusted to living with me and my family after seven months. It was a little difficult before then though. He would have nightmares, sometimes, of his house burning down with him inside it. And I would have to lie with him and coo to him, and whisper to him for hours before he settled down and we would end up falling asleep together. He always would ask me to sing to him. He loves my voice. Sometimes I contemplate touching Inu Yasha while he is sleeping. And no, not anything inappropriate, just holding his hand, and touching his face. He has flawless skin.

Once I was lucky enough to be able to stroke, with the back of my hand, his soft hair. It's a little oily because sometimes he won't take showers, (I do manage to force him to use deodorizer and wash his face with a towel though.) but it was incredibly soft and smooth. Just like I imagined it would feel. I worry he will wake up and catch me stroking his hair so I don't do that any more. Since we are both eighteen now, we hardly ever spend the night in each other's rooms anymore. This is partly because it is inappropriate, and partly because Inu Yasha does not have nightmares any more. (Not that frequently at least.)

When he first moved in I remember what he did. You know what that was? He moved the furniture around! He said he was picky about the way things are placed. The fact that the order from left to right, of our living room furniture was: chair, chair, sofa- bothered him. So now the sofa is in-between the two chairs. (Maybe he should do feng-shui?) He has been living with us, more or less, for about two and a half years. By the end of this first year with us, every thing in our house was placed to his liking.

As I mentioned, by now, Inu Yasha is almost completely normal. His autism has been handled splendidly by the people at his school. A lot of people I introduce him to can not even tell that he has it. When I will be talking to someone and I tell them he is autistic they say: "Really? No way!" And I smile.

Sometimes, I like to believe that _I _was the one that helped him, but I know it wasn't just me. It was a lot of things. Ms Aliah, therapy, special schooling, college math classes. (haha) When I think of the person I met some three and a half years ago, I can't even imagine it was the same Inu Yasha I know now. He's worked so hard.

One thing, though, that I have to say bothers me about the way people treat mental illness in America is that, some people are better off crazy. In Inu Yasha's case, drugs, and therapy helped him, but such things can really hurt other people.

Back in the mid-1900's, a process called lobotomy was very popular. This was a surgical procedure, the idea of which was worked on by several scientists from the 30's into the late 70's. The surgery basically consisted of removing the temporal lobe of the patient, or drilling holes in the side of the head and severing the nerves that run from the frontal cortex to the thalamus in psychotic patients who suffered from repetitive thoughts. The first lobotomy was performed on two dogs by their owner, a surgeon. He found the dog's were calmer after the surgery and the idea of performing it on people with behavioral and mental ailments in humans arose. A Swiss surgeon performed the surgery on six schizophrenic patient and they were all calmer after. Two died.

And yet, in 1935 a Yale graduate performed the surgery on chimps and found them to be calmer. A certain Antonio Egaz Moniz perfected the surgery that would come to be known as lobotomy. He advised it should only be used as a last resort. In 1949, he won the Nobel prize and retired from his career after a former patient shot him in the back.

An American physician, Walter Freeman, who had become impatient with the difficult procedure used by Moniz performed the ice pick lobotomy. In this crude procedure, a pick was driven into the head above the eyeballs using a mallet. The picks were swished around and- ta-da - a difficult patient is now as aggressive as a zuccini. Over 18000 of these were performed in the U.S. and other countries. And, unlike the idea of Moniz that these should only be used in desperation, they were used to treat things as common as deppression.

It may seem unrelated but it's a perfect story to fit my point. You see, as horrible as that surgery sounds, those doctors, for the most part, thought that what they were doing was good. People's moral's change _constantly. _The procedure is now banned in the US. But the thing is, as long as people continue to be born mentally impaired, people will always be looking for a way to fix them, and people's lack of knowledge on how to treat mental illness will _always_ hurt people. _Always._

Sure, this is a success story, but when you think about it, the 'story' isn't over. The drugs that Inu Yasha takes to _fix_ him carry risks and side effects that may very well damage and _kill_ him later. However, they work for him now, and that's what's important. Inu Yasha has trouble expressing himself clearly but I can tell he is so much happier now. He hates being stared at like he's different than everyone else because it reminds him that he is. And as long as he can be looked at like he's _human-_ it's enough for him.

I honestly try pretty hard to understand Inu Yasha. Really. I do. But one thing that gives me trouble is why he is so bothered by being stared at and being different now. When I first met him, he acted so differently from everyone else and it didn't bother him, but now, when a certain touch unnerves him or he's around a large group of people, he gets so irritated by it. I think he hates the idea of feeling trapped and controlled by a disease. I understand why he hates feeling controlled. His parents died, he has autism, he's been handed from school to school, teacher to teacher; for a large part of his life, he's had no control over anything. He knows what it feels like to feel somewhat 'normal'. And it makes him happy to feel like a part of the human race for once.

And now, for some reason, he seems strangely human. Just a few weeks ago (and this is what inspired me to do the follow-up) we were walking together around my neighborhood. My mother decided to get a dog for my brother. Which initially was a good idea. However, he played with it constantly for about a month and then forgot about it completely leaving me to walk and take care of it. So me and Inu Yasha walk the thing and talk. He loves being outside during winter. The cold air makes him feel so comfortable. Sometimes he will run ahead of me to feel the wind, and then wait for me to catch up with him. He loves the cold.

We normally don't talk much on our walks. We walk at around six and by that time most families are inside and eating dinner, so we have the whole world to ourselves and he likes to take advantage of the silence. He ran ahead of me and spun around on the paved street and then stopped to wait for me to catch up. The dog doesn't like to run and doesn't get easily excited so I always walk to him, never run. I caught up soon and we walked together for a long time, about eight minutes. And then, all of a sudden he stopped. He stood in place and I continued to walk ahead of him until I noticed that he wasn't beside me any more. I called to him. "Inu Yasha?" He looked at my eyes briefly and then I saw the pupils dart around in their sockets. He seemed nervous. I walked to him and looked at him with a worried face.

He looked around wildly; at my hands, my face, my eyes, the trees behind me, the house next to me. "Kagome."

"Hm?"

"I … I think I … I'm." And for once he was no longer able to articulate. He looked at me sternly and then reached out quickly and took my hand in his he held it lightly at first and then tighter as he brought his other hand to hold it as well. He rolled my hand in his and tapped it curiously, staring at it like it was the first hand he had ever seen. "I think I'm better." He had a slight smile on his face. "It doesn't hurt any more."

He looked back down at my hand. He was so happy. And I was too. I took in a sharp gasp of breath and smiled from ear to ear as I watched him examine my hand. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. He might have gotten confused. And I wanted to hug him but I didn't want to scare him so I just smiled at him, watery eyed.

We held hands the whole way home.

**-FIN-**

_**Author's Notes**_

I hope you like the epilogue! Kinda crappy but, eh, it passes. Its sort of a 'Im-so-sorry-please-don't-kill-me' present to all the people I made wait months and months for the last chapter. (IMSOSORRY!) Well, for all you wondering when I'm going to update, AFILAW is being worked on after this is uploaded, and a new one shot should be coming out today or tomorrow. Enjoy!

I want Crumpets! (those things are good.)


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